Am I Going to Shrink?

I don't know why I continue to be surprised by God. Maybe it's because He is so huge and I am so small. Maybe it's the "mystery" part of Him that we just don't know or understand. I'm not going to waste too much time trying to figure it out but I am going to marvel at my Savior. The Lord brought a bible verse to me as I was reading the Word the other day and I immediately thought of my friend that I needed to share it with. So, I did what any friend should do, I called her and shared it right away. The next day, yesterday, I thought, maybe this other friend needs to hear this verse so I shared it with her too. By the end of yesterday, I needed that verse to claim for my own! Last evening about 4:45 pm, I was waiting for Derek to arrive home from work when the phone rang. It was our adoption agency...with bad news. Oh God, NO! Our case worker proceeded to tell me that Rwanda signed a treaty to become Hague accredited just this week. I won't bore you with all that means, but basically they are changing over the way they adopt out of their country. Meanwhile, while they change over they have temporarily suspended adoptions out of Rwanda! Sigh! I could feel the tears forming in my eyes as I listened. She went on to say that any Dossiers after August 31, 2010 are suspended not excepted). As you have seen from our other posts, we are working tirelessly on the dossier right now and it definitely will not be done by Tuesday of next week! After she was finished speaking, I thanked her over and over for the call. Those cannot be fun calls for an agency to make to adoptive families. There is so much emotion wrapped up in this process as it is! I asked her if I could repeat back to her what she said as to be sure I had it all correct. I did. She said she would be in touch after "some time" to see what direction we need to go.
More waiting.....I just took a deep breath!
So, am I going to shrink? Are you wondering if I am or what that means?
The verse I shared with my two friends that I ended up needing more than anyone, talks about shrinking back. I couldn't understand, at the time, why I kept fixing on that phrase "shrink back", but now it is clear. Humanly, I want to say forget it, it's too hard. But that makes me a coward. As if this is supposed to be easy. God makes no promises like that! However, He makes so many other promises. Many I cling to daily. Here is my new memory verse for the time being...

So, do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him." But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.
Hebrews 10:35-39

So, where do we go from here? We wait. We have NO idea how long the country will be closed. I would love nothing more than to have a game plan, a second game plan and then a back up plan for the both of them. You know? We are going to see if any more information comes after August 31 and go from there. This is hard for us. We are sad. It feels like more unknown and more loss. I don't want anymore loss.
God has a plan and I trust Him. I have too. What else is there?
Pray for our family. Pray that we can "do" the wait. Pray that we will love and support each other even though emotions are high right now. Pray that God will show us how long to wait before we make a decision on what to do. Pray that we know the will of God if we need to change directions.

Isaiah 26:3 says...
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

Just pray, my friends.