2 Years

I couldn't let this day pass without mention that today, November 2, is exactly 2 years of being on the wait list for our little boy.
When we began this journey we never dreamed that it would be this long of a wait.  I can say it has been one of the most challenging, teachable, growing, weary times for Derek and I.

We live in a time when nobody likes to wait for anything.
We want it and we want it now.
We've learned to wait.

We have been given the gift of time.
If God would have answered our prayer right away we would have missed out on the work The Lord needed to do in us over the last 2 years.
We have been taught invaluable lessons.

We recognized {as we are trying to see all the good} that we have been given time to invest more in God's word and needed discipline with our girls.
We are growing.

We are weary.  Our hearts are tired of longing for our son that we haven't even met yet.  The thought of another holiday spent without him is devastating.  But we recognize that a weary heart learns to rely on Jesus!  Being two do-it-yourself kind of people, we have learned to melt into the arms of our Savior.  We can't "do" this one.  Totally up to our Sovereign God!
We are weary sitting at the feet of Jesus.

This is such a quick summary of our journey over the last few years.  I wish I could put more of my thoughts down.  I just can't come up with it.  When people ask how's it going or how's the adoption, my answer seems simple but it is true.  "We are ready" I say.  We are.  "We are trusting in God's timing". We do.  "Our hearts are weary".  It is.
We know this is our story written by God.  We each have one.  Even if you are going through the same exact thing as the person next to you, it's different.  And hard to explain.
I describe myself lately in one simple phrase, Sweetly Broken.
God has me in a sweet place and it is broken and surrendered before Him.  I want to rely on Him and present myself faithful.  All of this waiting is just a drop in the bucket compared to eternity.  The pain I feel is less than minor compared to how God feels when one of His children stray from Him.  The hole I feel in my heart in the separation between me and my son is absolutely nothing compared to the separation Christ felt from His Father when He was hanging on that tree for us!
My worship with The Lord has recently brought tears to my eyes on more than one occasion.
I want to leave you with the lyrics to the song Sweetly Broken.
Go and sing praises to the One who is control!

Sweetly Broken lyrics

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling

Of it's suffering I do drink

Of it's work I do sing

For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed

Showed that God is love

And God is just

Chorus:

At the cross You beckon me

You draw me gently to my knees, and I am

Lost for words, so lost in love,

I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life

[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/j/jeremy-riddle-lyrics/sweetly-broken-lyrics.html ]

Have I been given

Through Christ crucified

You’ve called me out of death

You’ve called me into life

And I was under Your wrath

Now through the cross I’m reconciled

Chorus:

In awe of the cross I must confess

How wondrous Your redeeming love and

How great is Your faithfulness

(2x’s)

Chorus: