3 W's

Waiting has been a "W" placed in my life that I have had to wrestle with for some time now. There has been success and there has been failure within the waiting. Recently, I have added Worn and Worthlessness to my "W" list. I didn't mean too. I didn't want too. It crept up on me.
For the last few weeks it has been harder in the wait. I can describe it as feeling worn. Some days I wonder if it will ever end. I know this will eventually end but will there be something else next? The part I dislike the most is feeling like I'm loosing the fight in me.  You know that feisty side that makes you feel like nothing can ever make you give up. Yes, that fight. That's hard. I'm a fighter. I'm stubborn. I don't like to give up.  Then, all of the sudden, worthlessness was added to my list. Ugh!
I began to question everything I am doing. Is it worthy enough? Good enough?  Big enough? Important enough?  I was feeling that since what I wanted to be doing this year didn't happen, did I really live my life well this year?  Wow, that sounds ridiculous to read.  Haven't I been rid of my plan and agenda yet?
I guess not.   
After a few weeks down in the pit, this is my conclusion.
Satan is a liar.
He wants me to believe His lies. I started to. I was listening to Him. I took the fruit and ate it.
Thankfully God can speak louder and He said....Yes! Your life is worthy. It is enough. It is big. But not because of you and what you do but what I did for you!
When I live for Him it is Worthy and Big because He is Worthy and Big.
I needed to change my thinking. But how?  I needed to be honest about how I was feeling. I confided in friends and The Lord. They prayed for me and listened. I prayed. I prayed. I prayed for God to bring me out. I read God's Word. Some days I didn't really want too but I did and it spoke to me. I served. Since I seemed to be feeling sorry for myself, I tried to think of ways to serve others. I also started a gratitude journal. Writing down what I was thankful for took the focus off my circumstances and helped me to remember contentment.
I AM thankful. I AM blessed. God has made me worthy. He is my strength when I feel worn. Some days we need to be retrained in our thinking. Grumbling, complaining and focusing on the hard is what comes naturally. I am out of the pit. I am standing guard because it can happen in a flash with no warning.

2 Corinthians 4.....
Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart. ² Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. ³ And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. ⁴ The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. ⁵ For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. ⁶ For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness, "made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.⁷ But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
¹³ It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken. "Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, ¹⁴ because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. ¹⁵ All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. ¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

God has so many wonderful promises.  I am encouraged today.
Do you need encouraged?  Do you feel worn?  Are you in a pit of worthlessness and weariness?  Don't try to claw or fight your way out, let God lift you.  He is so tender and gentle.